So, I’m quite aware I haven’t updated this. Every time I thought to, I could not bring my words together in a coherent fashion. Today is only different because I find myself in a coffee shop with terrible wi-fi and a great latte.
A lot has happened in the past five months, but nothing has really changed. It is incredibly frustrating, which seems to be the theme of my life recently.
In October I edited a series of short erotica stories for a friend, which he published. Then in November I wrote a very emotional rough draft of a novel that dealt with a lot of relationship issues and abuse. That was an extremely rough month. December of course brought rough holiday blues, culminating in January blues which seems to have resolved. Almost all of that was nothing more than the yearly remembering of things lost, regrets, and the horror of an entirely new year to screw up.
See, last year was the Year of the Horse. It was supposed to be a very good year for me. It was, in ways. I came to several wonderful revelations. The path is just a rough one.
There were doctor appointments in January as well, neither of which seem to be bearing any sort of fruit toward a medical transition. It is incredibly difficult being on Medicaid and getting any sort of care in this state, let alone transition.
In more happy news, I had my first kiss of the century. That’s right, century. I have completely shunned dating while I worked on myself and made sure I was mentally ready for another relationship. So I’ve been dating myself for sixteen years, and I think it’s time we started seeing other people. We’re not breaking up or anything, but it is time to invite one – or more – into my life.
Exciting, frustrating, and mostly just surviving.